One of the most
commonly believed ideas that I would most like to see eradicated is the concept
that putting up with another person's shitty behavior makes someone a
"saint." I've believed this before, I've said it myself, and have
heard it said by countless other people--and never once has it yielded a
positive result. The principle behind it is damaging because to canonize
suffering is to discourage people from standing up for themselves. It tells them that tolerating
unacceptable behavior makes them a good person. It also elevates those who
mistreat their peers by implying that they're somehow contributing to a greater
good, to the character-building of their victims.
Additionally, not everyone who accepts terrible behavior from others is exempt from doing harm themselves. The world isn't solely made up of aggressors and targets; there can be overlap between the two. You can be aggressive in one relationship and passive in another. To ignore that is to overlook the complexities of our social lives and the contradictions that exist in people.
Additionally, not everyone who accepts terrible behavior from others is exempt from doing harm themselves. The world isn't solely made up of aggressors and targets; there can be overlap between the two. You can be aggressive in one relationship and passive in another. To ignore that is to overlook the complexities of our social lives and the contradictions that exist in people.
