(Warning for discussion
of domestic abuse)
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You often hear it said that someone can be a bad parent while remaining a good spouse, or vice versa. I think this really depends on the nature and degree of "bad." There are parents incapable of divided attention who dote on each other so much that they emotionally neglect their children. There are also parents who are aloof or unfaithful romantic partners but are incredibly dedicated to their kids. If abuse is involved, though, there is no possible way for a person to be adept at one role while failing the other. Abusing their partner's child is abusive to their partner by proxy, as is abusing their partner even if they don't extend the behavior to the kid. It shows the parent or child a complete disregard for the safety of someone so important to them (assuming that both parents aren't mistreating the child together). There's also an implicit threat of "you could be next"--even if it's never acted upon.
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You often hear it said that someone can be a bad parent while remaining a good spouse, or vice versa. I think this really depends on the nature and degree of "bad." There are parents incapable of divided attention who dote on each other so much that they emotionally neglect their children. There are also parents who are aloof or unfaithful romantic partners but are incredibly dedicated to their kids. If abuse is involved, though, there is no possible way for a person to be adept at one role while failing the other. Abusing their partner's child is abusive to their partner by proxy, as is abusing their partner even if they don't extend the behavior to the kid. It shows the parent or child a complete disregard for the safety of someone so important to them (assuming that both parents aren't mistreating the child together). There's also an implicit threat of "you could be next"--even if it's never acted upon.
